


His Secret

by Randoweirdo



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Crossdressing, Explicit Language, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-21
Updated: 2018-03-21
Packaged: 2019-04-05 07:56:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14039682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randoweirdo/pseuds/Randoweirdo
Summary: Mickey would rather keep his secret than his boyfriend. Perhaps it’s fate that eventually brings Mickeys secret to the surface, forcing his world to turn upside down.-My first fic ever!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please be kind. I’ve literally never wrote anything before, so let’s live by the old rule of ‘if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.’ I’m a wimp and meanies will hurt my feels. 
> 
> Also, I’m not an expert at anything here. My mistakes are my own.  
> Hope you guys enjoy my little contribution! :)

Mickey and Mandy had shared a two bedroom apartment in Chicago for almost 5 years now. They had put a sizable distance between them and their fathers house, trying to forget their past and become decent members of society. They had grown very close over the years, into best friends even. His sister managed to pull out the softer more caring side of him and he wasn’t afraid to admit that. Mickey still had a hot temper though, he’d been working as a bartender in boystown for the last 3 years and his mouth rarely ever caused him any trouble there thankfully. If anything, guys were usually drooling over it, so it worked out just fine for him. 

Six months ago Ian caught Mickeys eye one night when he waltzed up to the bar with another man. It was obviously a strained date, neither man seemed overly into it. Conversation lulled often and once Ian and the dude started talking weather Mickey injected himself into their conversation. He told them they were all wrong for each other and it was just painful to watch. He said that blondie should fuck off and leave Red in his more capable hands. The blonde man almost tripped over himself in his hasty retreat. Ian just laughed, completely taken by the bartenders brashness and confidence. They talked the remainder of Mickeys shift and eventually left to fuck until dawn. 

Mickey had never had a relationship that lasted this long, hell he had never had a real relationship period. He had had regular fuck buddies through the years and boat loads of one night stands, but it all changed with Ian. It started out as weekend hookups, fuck buddy material, ya know? Soon enough though it turned into casual hang outs with pizza and movies, shopping with Mickeys sister, cooking meals together and park outings with Ian’s youngest sibling when he had babysitting duty. They became domestic somewhere along the way. They still didn’t live together or anything, but Mickey was fine with that, he liked his space. He was perfectly content with their dynamic and didn’t want anything to change. It was the happiest Mickey had ever been. 

He found it was easy to bond with Ian being that they both grew up in fucked up households on the south side. Sure they had their little arguments here and there, but they were all superficial. Ian was more outgoing, but Mickey liked that. Even if he’d complain the whole time about going to a club after he just spent the whole night working at one. He loved watching his boyfriend dance away his stress and he loves drinking beer, so it wasn’t all that bad. 

“Hey mick!” Ian said busting through the front door of the apartment, looking around for his boyfriend. “You home? Mandy?” 

“Yeah, I’m home. Mandy got called into work.” Mickey said coming out of his bedroom, shutting his door. “What are you doing here? I thought you were working tonight too?”

“Rita sent me home, keeping me on call though.” Ian said plugging his phone in and peeling his EMT jacket off. “What are you up too?” He smiles at his boyfriend, walking closer to him, and tossing his jacket on the couch. Ian thought his boyfriend looked so cute in his sweats and tank. 

“Just takin a nap.” He ran a hand through his hair and accepted Ian’s hug. 

Ian captured Mickeys lips in a quick passionate kiss. “I missed you baby. It’s been a long, lonely couple of days without you.” He said suggestively.

“I missed you too. Our work schedules suck man.” Mickey commented. This was Mickeys first actual night off in two weeks, he had plans and his boyfriend showing up was definitely not in those plans. 

“Why don’t we both go take a nap, huh?”  
Ian ran his hands along his boyfriends arms, lifting the hem of his tank top and skimming his fingers along Mickeys flat belly. 

Mickey pushed Ian back a little and looked up at him, squinting his eyes. “I don’t think you and I have the same definition of nap.” 

Ian began waking towards Mickeys room, unbuttoning his shirt on the way. 

“I gotta eat something man, I’m fuckin’ starving.” Mickey walked into the kitchen, looking back at Ian expectantly.

Ian stopped momentarily, licking his lips and giving Mickey a predatory look.  
“Why don’t you eat out here and when you’re done, I’ll eat in here.” Nodding his towards the bedroom.

Mickey cracked a small smile at his boyfriends terrible joke, then shook his head.  
“Or, we both eat here in the kitchen and save the bedroom shenanigans for later.” Mickey was not gonna budge.

“Mick, I don’t think you and I have the same definition of eating.” Ian chuckled, throwing Mickeys words back at him. “Also, You sound about 80 using the word shenanigans.” Ian joked.

“Ha. Ha. You’re a funny man, Gallagher.” Mickey said with little amusement. “I told my brother I’d help him out with some shit tonight. I gotta head outta here soon.”

“Listen, I’m gonna go get started, why don’t you join me whe you’re done eating. Your brother can wait a few extra minutes while you shoot your load in my mouth, right baby?” Ian’s grin and offer was enticing but Mickey had to keep a clear head. Then Ian’s hand went for the bedroom door handle. 

“Ian don’t!” Mickey said in a raised and panicked tone. His breathing sped up and eyes went wide momentarily before schooled his features. 

“Mick, what’s wrong?” Ian stepped away from the door. Concern on his face. “What’s going on?”

“Just...don’t.” Mickey faultered, not knowing how to keep his boyfriend from entering his room.

“Don’t what?” Ian asked. He was getting nervous at his boyfriends behavior. 

“Just, come and eat with me...please.” Mickey turned his back on Ian and opened the fridge. He needed to feel the cold air on his face. That was close, too close for Mickeys comfort.

“Mickey?” Ian didn’t move.

“I can make a sandwich.” Mickey said moving things around in the fridge. “Or heat up some leftovers.”

“Mickey?” Ian said with a little more force while he buttoned his shirt back up.

Mickey turned, steeling himself for his boyfriends upset face. 

“What’s going on?” Ian asked seriously. “You’re acting a little squirrely here.” 

“Nothing going’s on. Just hungry.” He shrugged hoping Ian would buy it.

“I don’t buy that.” Ian looked down, took a breathe and looked his boyfriend in the eyes. The air in the room suddenly turned suffocating. “Why don’t you want me to go into your room?”

“I didn’t say that, man.” He was shaking his head. Mickey could feel everything crumbling. How did this happen? Why did he have to be so careless? 

“So if I go in there right now I won’t find anything? Anyone?” Ian added quietly. 

Mickeys face scrunched, disgusted with himself. He placed his palms on the island, leaning into it, head down. Ashamed.  
“There’s nobody in my room Ian.”

“Then you won’t mind if I go in there?” It hurt Ian that he had to ask this.

Without looking up from the counter, Mickey spoke quietly. This was it, he wished he had more time.  
“Ian...I think you should leave.” His heart broke with those words. But he stayed steady. 

“What!?” Ian came towards Mickey, standing on the other side of the island. Willing Mickey to look at him. “Why?”

Mickey could look at him, keeping his head down.  
“I don’t think we should see each other anymore.” 

Ian wasn’t going to stand for this. He barreled around counter and grabbed Mickey by the arms and spun him around to face him.  
“Mickey, look at me god dammit!”

Mickeys eyes slowly met Ians intense stare. 

“Why are you doing this? I thought we were happy, I thought we were going somewhere. What happened? What changed?” Ian pleaded for answers.

“Please, let me go.” Mickey whispered and cast his eyes aside. “It’s over.”

“No! No Mick, I’m not letting you end this out of fucking nowhere!” Ians fingers tightened in anger and frustration. “We can work this out, please, baby.” He said loosening his grip, eyes softening. “Whatever is going on we can work it out.”

Ian’s hand cupped Mickeys face and for a moment Mickey allowed the warmth to flow through him. Then reality hit him when he opened his eyes back up to see his closed bedroom door behind his gorgeous boyfriend. He took a step back, but kept the eye contact. He had to do this, he didn’t have a choice. 

“Ian.” His voice stronger than he felt. “I’m breaking up with you. I feel our relationship has run its course and I have nothing more to offer you.” He felt like a robot, reading off the script he wrote in his head for this very occasion. He knew this day would come afterall. 

Silence. Ian’s jaw slacked, unsure of what to do, what to say. 

They heard the lock turn.

“Hey guys!” Mandy said rushing in. “I got all the way to work and realized I forgot my fucking phone. So annoying!” She said running to her room. 

Mickey and Ian broke away from the staring contest. Shuffling away from one another. 

“Hey Ian, I’m off at 11, you gonna be here when I get home?” Mandy asked as she walked back into the room looking at her phone. 

“I don’t think so.” He muttered. 

“What’s going on?” She asked looking to both boys. Finally noticing the tension. 

“Your brother just broke up with me.” He said not meeting her eyes. 

Mickey wiped his hand down his face. He hated hearing those words from his mouth. He hated how sad Ian’s voice sounded. 

“What?” Mandy breathed out, eyes darting between the two boys.

“That’s what I’ve been saying.” Ian gave a sad small smile before wiping away an escaping tear. 

“Mickey?” Mandy looked towards her brother.

“It’s none of your business.” He hissed. 

“Mickey!” She said sternly. “You don’t have to do this.” 

“I said it’s none of your business!” He yelled. “Now get your ass outta here, don’t you have someplace to be?” He pointed to the door, eyebrows raised, his anger growing at the intrusion.

“Mickey just...fine.” Mandy said rolling her eyes in defeat. “Bye Ian.” She walked out with one final look at Ians broken face. 

“Can we please talk about this?” Ian begged. “It doesn’t have to be like this. Just talk to me.”

“No! I’m done! We’re done!” Mickey realized he would have to go the extra mile to end this. He’d have to cut him down. “You were a good lay for awhile, but you’re old fuckin news now. There’s nothing to talk about, I’m through with you! That clear enough princess? We’re done. Leave.” Mickey sneered, his south side attitude was now firmly in place. 

And that was the final straw for Ian. Tears slipped down his cheeks. He grabbed his stuff and walked out the door. He felt fooled, heartbroken and lost. Six months down the drain. Six months of intertwining their lives, growing and learning together. Ian had fallen in love with the other man, though he hadn’t said it, and now he never would, he had fallen hard. He didn’t understand how Mickey could so suddenly shut him out and dump him with such callousness. Apparently he didn’t know his boyfriend, well, now ex-boyfriend as well as he thought.

The moment that the had door closed, Mickey broke down crying and didn’t stop until he fell asleep. He hated himself for doing that, but he was too afraid not too.


	2. Chapter 2

When Mandy got home the next night she found her brother on the couch with a beer in hand, cigarette hanging from his lips and some old movie on the tv. She was worried about him, but also upset with him. Ian was not just Mickeys boyfriend, he had become her friend and she felt torn. 

“Wanna tell me what happened last night?” She threw her purse on the counter and grabbed a beer.

“Nope.” He said taking a drag of his smoke.

“Don’t be a fucking dick right now.” She said plopping down next to him. “What happened with Ian?” 

Putting out his cigarette and taking a swig of warm beer, he got up to grab another one. Ignoring Mandy, he sat back down and continued watching the movie he wasn’t actually paying any attention too. 

“Mick, talk to me.” 

“Nothing to say.”

“Bullshit.” She replied. Turning softer, she tried. “Did he find out?” 

“Almost.” He gave in with his elbows on his knees and rubbed his eyes. “Too fucking close, I let him get too fucking close.” He muttered. 

“I thought maybe you would just come clean with him.” Mandy said scooting to the edge of the couch.

“Why the fuck would I do that!?” He turned to her. 

“I think he’d be okay with it.” She said tentatively.

“Yeah fucking right.” He snorted. “I ain’t living’ in no fuckin’ fantasy world here. We might not be in South Side anymore and I can be a little more open, but who I am is still pretty fucking unacceptable to most of the world. I ain’t gonna be made a fool in his eyes.” 

“You could have at least tried!” Mandy said getting upset. “Can’t you see the way he looks at you? He worships you, Mick, that man would be open and understanding if you just let him in.” 

“You don’t know that.” He shook his head. “What happens if he’s not? What then? Or what happens if he gives it a shot, says he’s cool with it and I let him in and he can’t handle it? What happens if he looks at me and laughs? Or he’s disgusted with me or doesn’t find me attractive anymore?” His voice began to shake. “I couldn’t handle him rejecting me in that way, Mandy. I just can’t do it. I need you on my side with this.” Mickey pleaded to her. 

“I’m always on your side, Mick.” She promised. “I honestly think it’d be okay and if for some crazy reason he wasn’t okay with everything then you know I’d kick his ass for you, but I get it, and I’ll drop it. I just enjoyed having Ian around, I think he was good for you, for us.” 

“I know, Mands.” He sighed, trying his best to keep his turbulent emotions at bay. “But it’s my decision okay? And I need you to support it. I broke up with him and it’s over, he’s not coming back, I don’t want him to come back.”

“Okay.” Mandy said running a hand over his back gently. “Okay.”

 

2 months later...

 

“Mandy I wanna go out tonight.” Mickey said when she walked in the door, arms filled with paper bags bursting with food. 

“Okay, what you have in mind?” She asked setting down the groceries on the island. 

Mickey came and helped her unload the groceries. Taking the cold stuff and placing it in the designated spots in the fridge and freezer.  
“I was thinking about going out to the club. Dancing.” He said not looking at her.

“You wanna go dancing?” She stopped and turned to look at him. So he did the same.

“Yeah. I’m ready to go out again.” Mickey smiled.

“Hell Yeah! It’s about damn time!” She hugged him and squealed. “We’re gonna have so much fun tonight!” 

They continued putting things away, when Mickey scoffed. “No booze? What kind of person doesn’t have alcohol on the top of their shopping list?”

“It was too much to carry back by myself douchebag!” Mandy said, punching his arm. 

“Fine.” Mickey sighed. “We’ll have to go out and get some after dinner then. If we’re going out, I’m gonna need to pre-funk.” 

“I feel ya brother, I gotchya.” Mandy agreed and smiled. 

They got the hard stuff because Mickey knew beer wasn’t gonna cut it for tonight’s activities. Mandy was busy mixing them a couple of fruity drinks that were bound to get them fucked up. Mickey would never actually order these in public, but he’s a sucker for anything sweet. With the music blasting some pop shit Mandy insisted on, they started with a couple shots. Then focused on the pinkish-orangish concoction while they bounced around the small apartment lossening up and letting go of their worries for the night. Maybe Mickey was a little hard on Mandy’s music choice, because he was totally into it. 

After a few songs they slowed down, Mandy hopped up onto the island while Mickey sat on the arm of the sofa. They finished up their drinks and were catching their breathes with goofy smiles plastered on. The alcohol was definitely in affect!

“I think you know Taylor Swift better than me.” Mandy laughed. 

“Fuck you, do not.” Mickey rolled his eyes playfully.

“Mick, you literally sang all the words. I only know like half the words to that song. You like Taylor Swift. You’re like a fuckin’ Swifty.”

“I’ve never even...I don’t even know what that is.” Mickey got flustered. “Shut up! It’s catchy! I fuckin hate you.” Mickey shook his head stifling a laugh. 

Mandy laughed out loud and sighed. Trying to sound casual she broached the subject.  
“So did you ever hear from Ian after you broke it off?”  
She’d been tip toeing around the subject since that night, but maybe now her brother would be willing to open up a little. The last couple of months he’d been pretty mopey, making only minimal conversation. She hoped the alcohol would loosen his lips.

“He texted a few times, saying he missed me and all that shit, wanting to talk.” He shrugged. “Never texted him back though.” 

“You miss him?” She asked.

“Sometimes yeah.” He admitted. “I try not to think about it though, ya know. It’s just better this way...easier.”

“I miss him too.” She quietly added “He was a good guy to have around.” 

“Yeah, He was.” Mickey sighed. “I just don’t think I’m supposed to be with someone forever, ya know? A fuckin’ lone wolf or some shit.” 

“Well I don’t share that sentiment about either of us, but apparently the world wants us to be single so we might as well enjoy it!” Mandy tried to stay positive.

“Sounds good to me.” Mickey nodded. “I’m ready to enjoy the fuck outta tonight!” 

“Alright, lets start getting ready.” Mandy said jumping off the countertop. “I call shower first!” 

“Bitch.” Mickey muttered and poured himself a jack and coke to nurse on the couch while waiting for his turn. He pulled out his phone and went to the photos of his ex. He didn’t have too many, but the ones he did have he treasured. Ian was perfect in his eyes, inside and out. His mind starting shuffling through random memories of the two of them. Ugh...he locked his phone and tossed it away, he didn’t need to go down this road tonight. 

The last couple months had been rough. He missed Ian almost desperately at times. It took everything in him to not reach out to him, but then he’d have to explain himself and that just wasn’t an option. 

Mickey needed to have fun with his sister tonight. He was beginning to feel like a recluse, only leaving when necessary. His bones ached for movement and his soul longed for laughter again. It felt like forever ago when they last went out dancing. It was gonna be a good night, he could feel it, he wasn’t gonna let this little trip down memory lane bring him down. 

They were both showered, Mandy had chosen to wear a tight little red strapless dress with chunky gold accessories. Her long black hair in a high ponytail, bangs framing her face. 

“Do you have an outfit picked out Mick?” Mandy asked strolling into his room. “Want some help?” She asked looking over the clothes on his bed. 

“I can’t decide if I want to wear the black dress or the red dress.” He said, focused on the clothes and picking at his bottom lip. Looking at his sister he smiled, amused. “Looks like I’m wearing the black one.”

“We can both wear red, we’ll look like twins!” Mandy clapped.

“Nah, my ass looks better in the black one anyways.” He said putting the red dress away in the back of his closet. 

“Mick, you’re ass looks amazing in anything.” Mandy playfully rolled her eyes. “You could wear a garbage bag and I’d still be jealous of that.”

Mickey smiled cheekily.  
“I do have a nice ass.” 

“I’m gonna go make us a couple more drinks while you get dressed. Then we’ll do our makeup!” Mandy was giddy, squealing as she skipped to the kitchen.

They took almost an hour in Mandy’s room doing their makeup and pinning Mickeys wig in place. It was long and black just like Mandy’s natural hair. He wore it down, resting just past his shoulders. He looked at himself in the mirror appraisingly. His matte red lips and dark smokey eyes were perfection. There was a hint of glitter in his eyeshadow that sparkled just the right amount. His makeup wasn’t over the top, just a little contour, bronzer, highlighting and blush, enough to easily pass as a woman. Those hours zoning out on YouTube makeup tutorials were starting to pay off! He felt beautiful as he stood and ran his hands down his sides. His corset underneath giving his waist even more definition and the illusion of small perky breasts under his dress. He added fishnet stockings at the end because he was in a daring mood and wanted to feel a little slutty. 

“Woo! I’m gonna have to call the firemen, cause you are on fire!” Mandy said holding her shoes in hand and running her tongue over her lips seductively. 

“Fuck off.” He smiled sheepishly and grabbed his shoes to follow Mandy to the living room. They put on their almost matching black heels and began to take their last few drinks of their cocktails. 

“Seriously though, you look fuckin’ hot.” Mandy told him.

“Thanks.” He smiled taking a drink, needing the approval. He was a little nervous, but more so excited.

“Alright, ready Mika?” Mandy asked with a huge grin.

“Fuck yes!” He slammed his glass down after his final gulp. “Lets do this.” His smile matching hers.

The club was only six blocks away so they decided to walk, even if it did make their feet ache. Arm in arm, Mandy did most the talking on the way. As much as Mickey loved this, he still wasn’t totally comfortable and confident speaking in public when dressed up. They arrived at the club, having chosen the one that they knew didn’t ever card anyone and was gay friendly. They immediately went to the bar where Mandy ordered them both shots, which they quickly downed. Both siblings feeling nice and tipsy. 

“Let’s dance!” She shouted and grabbed Mickeys arm. 

The club was decently packed. Strobe lights and thumping music washing over Mickey, this is what he came for, it felt amazing. It had been nearly a year since they had done this. He missed it, missed this part of his life. He smiled as his sister led him to the dance floor, knocking into people on the way. Mickey couldn’t tell if it was him who was so unsteady or if it was the people around him, maybe it was both. He was drunk and in heels afterall and so were half the people around him. 

They spent the next hour dancing with each other. Sometimes jumping around with their hands raised high, sometimes pretending to grind on one another while trying and failing to be serious.They were being completely silly at times, acting as if they were in Romy and Michelle’s High School Reunion. Just two best friends laughing and dancing the night away in a blurry haze.

-Meanwhile at the bar top

Ian spotted Mandy in the crowd dancing with some girl. He couldn’t see who, their back was too him, but she definitely had a great ass, for a woman at least, he thought. It looked like they were having fun though. He missed Mandy, truthfully he missed her brother more, even if he had ripped his heart out suddenly and never once looked back. But Mandy had been a great friend when he was with Mickey and he could certainly use a friend right now. 

Ian was miserable these past months without Mickey. He had racked his brain trying to understand what went wrong, but all he had were hypotheticals and that did nothing to ease his heart or mind. He finally stopped messaging Mickey last month after never receiving any responses. It had gotten pretty pathetic towards the end and Ian was honestly a little embarrassed by it. Over the last couple weeks he found himself here just watching people and getting a buzz going. He never danced or hooked up with randoms, he just observed life moving around him. He didn’t think he was depressed, but he certainly wasn’t exactly excited about anything lately. 

He sighed and finished his beer. Now that Mickey was on his mind he knew he should just leave. Seeing Mandy across the room made him feel like Mickey was closer than he’d been in months. His heart and gut were beginning to twist. This was pathetic he thought, running his hand over his face. Why couldn’t he just forget the man and move on? Ian made his way to the bathroom, he would piss and then go home and disappear under his covers, once again. 

Upon exiting the men’s room, he saw Mandy’s friend coming his way through the mess of people. Their head was down, tilted slightly, her hand was swiping her hair to the side. Obviously she had worked up a sweat on the dance floor as she fanned at her face with her other hand. Maybe he would stop and chat with Mandy and her friend for a bit, maybe it would help him a little, perk up his night.

“Hey!” He yelled smiling as she got closer. 

Mickey looked up on instinct and immediately regretted it. He jerked his head back down and tried to turn around but ran into someone.

“Hey!” Ian shouted again, grabbing her arm. “I’m friends with Mandy, I saw you guys dancing.” 

Mickey still didn’t look up, just nodded his head slightly, eyeing Ians fingers wrapped around his arm. Ian let go suddenly, realizing the obvious discomfort at the touch. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to grab you.” Ian apologized.

Mickey just bolted back towards Mandy, ignoring the dumbfounded man.

Ian’s eyes stayed glued to the two girls, bewildered. Mandy’s head snapped to Ian’s, their eyes meeting. Ian smiled and waved, but Mandy just grabbed her friends arm and made their way through the crowd towards the exit.

As if Ian didn’t feel shitty enough, Mandy didn’t even want to say hi to him. He walked out of the club and saw the girls retreating figures down the street. He decided to say fuck all to everything and run after them. He needed to know what was so wrong with him that now neither sibling wanted anything to do with him. If he couldn’t know why Mickey hated him, he could at least figure out why Mandy apparently did too.

“Mandy!” Ian yelled. “Hey! Can you just wait a minute!?” He was close. Mandy turned to him. 

“He Ian, how are you?” She asked forcing politeness. Mickey refused to turn around.

“I’m good...I mean, not really.” He shook his head, eyes confused. “What the fuck was that, why’d you run outta there when you saw me?” 

“I just had to leave, nothing personal.” She lied. 

“Okay.” He replied slowly, not really trusting her answer. “Uh, so who’s your friend?” He asked.  
Mandy just shrugged. Mouth opening to say something but nothing was coming out. She was a deer in headlights.  
“I didn’t mean to scare you back there, I’m really sorry.” He directed to the girls back. 

The girl started to walk away. Ian’s head was exploding now, what in the fuck was going on here? He doesn’t deserve to be treated like this, to just be ignored by someone as if he weren’t there at all. He scoffed, throwing his hands in the air.  
“Seriously?” He said. “I just apologized, sincerely I might add, and you just walk away.”

Mandy stared in between the two men, unsure of what she should do. 

This is bullshit Ian thought. He was sick and tired of feeling unworthy, unwanted. Jogging towards the girl and stopping in front of her, she was forced to hault, but still refused to look at the man.

“What the fuck is your problem?” He yelled. “I didnt do anything to you! I just wanted to say hi to an old friend...I don’t deserve this kind of attitude from someone who doesn’t even know me.” 

Giving up, Mickey looked up at him, locking eyes. Maybe Ian won’t recognize him he thought in vain. But he knew Ian wasn’t going to just let him walk away, the red head was obviously hurting.

“Mickey?” Ian whispered and stepped back.

“Lets go.” Mickey said uncomfortably and quietly looking to Mandy.

Mandy nodded and went to her brother. 

Ian watched them walk off, too stunned to speak. This is why he broke up with him. It all makes sense now. Never in any of his hypothetical break up scenarios did this cross his mind.

“Wait!” He shouted. “Please!” Ian choked out. 

The siblings stopped and spoke to each other. Ian couldn’t hear the exchange but it felt promising. Mickey turned towards Ian and Ian took that as his cue to go forward. Mandy gave them some space and began walking ahead. 

Mickeys arms hugged his own body. He felt so exposed and vulnerable. He never wanted anyone but his sister to ever know about this. He really wished he wasn’t in a dress and heels right now. 

“This is why you broke up with me isn’t it?” Ian asked. 

“Yeah.” His eyes downcast.

“You could have told me.”

Mickey just shook his head. 

“Yes, you could have told me!” Ian repeated. 

“Well, now you know.” Mickey spoke. “Am I free to go now?”

“Of course you’re free to go, but I’d rather you didn’t.” Ian said sadly.

“What the fuck more is there to say?” Mickey arms opened. “Or do you have some fucked up questions out of curiosity?” He said getting defensive. “What do you want from me?”

Ian ignores his attitude.  
“I would have been okay with this.” 

“I don’t believe that.” Mickey shrugged. 

“Why not?” Ian eyes narrowed. 

“Because I’m not okay with it!” He raised his voice, chest heaving. “I’m not okay with it, if you had come to me with this,” he motioned to his own body. “I would have left you.” He admitted coldly. 

“Well it’s a bit of a double standard in my opinion, but I guess it’s good that I don’t ever dress like a woman then.” Ian said casually, trying to lessen some tension.

“Fuck you.” Mickey bit out.

“Okay, so you wouldn’t be okay with it. That’s okay. That’s your choice.” Ian told him. “Everyone has their preferences Mickey, but this, You could have talked to me about it. I’m a pretty accepting guy.” 

“Well I didn’t want to talk to you about, I don’t wanna talk to anyone about it.” Mickey grumbled. “It’s my business, not anybody else’s.”

“Mickey, I really wanna talk more about this because I swear to you, this doesnt bother me at all. We don’t have to talk right now, I know catching you off guard probably has you feeling cornered, but can I call you? Can we please talk about this?”

“I don’t think so.” Mickey said carefully wiping at a traitor of a tear from his eye. He was overwhelmed and Ian had it right, feeling cornered, trapped. He wanted to run away and forget about all this. 

“Why?” Ian asked.

“Just, leave it the fuck alone Ian.” Mickey pleaded. “I just can’t.”

Ian stepped hesitatingly closer, sensing Mickeys inner turmoil and got to his knees, the pavement cold and uninviting to his bones. He looked up into Mickeys scared face. “Please, Baby?” He willed, closing his eyes. His head gently fell onto Mickeys stomach. “Please?” He repeated himself into the dress. He brought his hands to Mickeys hips, looked up again, hoping the man would show him mercy. “I love you. I love you so much, and being without you...it’s killing me.”

Mickey choked back a sob at Ians confession. Nobody besides his sister had ever said that to him. The damn inside him was beginning to crumble. His trembling hand nervously combed through Ian’s long red haired. He was too overcome with emotion to speak. Thankfully Ian continued on. 

“You are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on. I want you, all of you, in any and every way. I miss you so much.” Ian figured this was his chance, throw everything on the table. “I miss fuckin’ you, Mick. God, I want to fuck you so bad.” He bit his lip and squeezed Mickeys hips emphasizing. “You look so fucking hot in this dress.” His head shying away, nervous for Mickeys reaction, he rested his upon Mickeys stomach again. “I wanna hold you and kiss my way down the back of your neck, like you like. Please baby, can we please try?” Ian’s hands roaming Mickeys sides, looking up at him again awaiting his fate. 

Mickey closed his eyes. Letting Ian’s words soak in, feeling the tingling sensations through his body from Ian’s large hands trailing his body. He wasn’t sold, but he did miss the red head and he would try and figure out a way to open up, knowing that in the end it might be too much for the younger man and he’d leave him, but Mickey would at least try.  
“Come on, these heels are killing me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, I might only ever write one fic, who knows. So I tried my hand at the whole smut writing, ya know, go big or go home and all! 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy :)

Mandy was sitting on a bar stool at the island, still wearing her club dress, slippers in place of heels. She had just shoved a salsa covered tortilla chip in her mouth when the door opened. Mickey and Ian entered wordlessly, both looking nervous. 

“Oh my god!” Mandy said bringing her hand up to stop food from spraying out of her mouth. She swallowed quickly and continued. “Hey Ian, you’re here!” She smiled brightly. 

“I’m here.” Ian gave her a glint of a smile in return. 

Mickey took his heels off, leaving them by the door and grabbed some water from the fridge. “Want one?” He looked to Ian.

“Yeah thanks.” He said reaching for the bottle. 

“We’re gonna go to my room.” He told Mandy as they walked towards his bedroom. 

“Okay yeah totally, cool! Sweet.” Mandy said, excited shock still written on her face. 

“Oh my god, stop being so weird.” Mickey huffed embarrassed.

“Sorry, I still got alcohol brain a lil’ bit...I drank a lot Mick!” She whined. “But I’m sooo glad you’re here Ian!” She added, quickly popping another chip in her mouth and licking her fingers. She pulled her headphones out and looked back at her brother. “Look, these are goin’ in. All the privacy is yours to do as you please.” She winked while putting the earbuds in place. 

Mickey groaned and closed the bedroom door behind him, leaning against it he watched Ian shuffle about the room. 

“She’s the worst sometimes.” Mickey said. “She’s gonna feel like shit tomorrow.”

“She means well.” I’m shrugged amused. 

They both drank from their water bottles, neither knowing how to start. They let the air settle for a minute before Mickey spoke up. 

“So you really wanna try this again?” He said quietly. “With me?”

“Yeah I do. I mean, I’d like to talk about things first. I feel like I have a million questions. Is that okay?” Ian asked taking a seat on the bed, keeping his eyes on Mickey. 

“Yeah go for it, that’s why we’re here after all.” Mickey ran his painted nails through his wig, itching his scalp. “Can I change first? I’m feelin’ a little out of place here.” He asked self consciously. 

“Of course, whatever you want.” Ian stood again nervous. “You don’t need to change on my account though.” He assured. “I kinda like it.” 

Mickey scoffed. “I find that a little hard to believe.” He suddenly felt on edge, ready for a battle, needing to defend himself. He didn’t want to do this, his courage was slipping. 

Ian came up to Mickey, who had begun to move away from the door, but Ian backed him back into it. Resting his hands upon Mickeys waist, he spoke lowly, “I said, I like it. And I meant it.” 

Mickeys breath caught in his throat, eyes locking to Ian’s heated stare, his mouth parting absentmindedly. Ian took that as a sign and leaned down to capture the red stained lips. Mickeys hands wrapped around Ian’s neck, pulling himself to his tippy toes, bodies flushed with one another, deepening the kiss. An internal sigh of relief from both. Ian snaked his hand around Mickey, grazing his ass lightly, not wanting to ask for too much too soon. Ian already felt like he was standing on a bridge that was about to collapse, he didn’t want to press his luck, but he was quickly getting turned on and he was sure Mickey could feel it against his belly. 

Mickey pulled back slowly, falling back to his regular height. Too nervous to look at Ian. He needed some space, space to breathe, to process what just happened. Ian could see that this was a big moment for the other man. Mickey had never been able to hide his emotions well. They broke apart, each claiming different sides of the bedroom. 

“We should have that talk now, huh?” Ian said. 

“Yeah, okay.” Mickey nodded, looking everywhere but at the man in front of him. Ian smiled at his fidgeting before diving in. 

“So...do you, or are you like, transitioning?” Ian braces himself unsure of how he felt about Mickeys possible answer. He thinks he’d be okay with it, but he’s never really given it any thought. He knows he would miss Mickeys dick, and then immediately felt selfish for even thinking that. 

“Nah man, it’s not like that.” Mickey answered easily, while Ian let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Knew that’d be your first question.” He cracked his first smile, which made Ian smile in return. “I just like to dress like this sometimes.”

“Was that your first kiss, dressed like this?” Ian asked. “Or have you been with guys, like ya know, sex or whatever, while dressed up?”

“Um, yeah, that was my first kiss in a dress.” He responded shyly. “I’ve never actually done anything with a guy like this. I think I’ve drunkenly grinded on and been grinded on at the club, but that’s it.”

Nodding his head in recognition, Ian continued.  
“How often do you dress up?” 

“Like once a week maybe.” Mickey shrugged. “Once every couple weeks. Depends.” 

“You and Mandy go out dancing every time?” Ian continued.

“No, this is the first time we’ve gone out in almost a year.” Mickey said taking a seat on the bed and smoothing out his dress, trying to calm his nerves “I, uh, I usually just hang out at home. Drink and dance at home with Mandy. Or I’ll just get all glammed up to clean or read or watch trash on tv. I mean, I just like the process of putting everything on. Not, like, not JUST the process, but it’s a big part of it.” 

“What’s the other part?” Ian was curious. 

Mickey got up and began to pace. “I mean, I like the way it feels, the way I look.” He stopped and looked at Ian. “My dad beat the shit outta me all growing up. Called me names, put me down constantly, made me feel like the absolute lowest, ugliest piece of garbage on the planet. I never once felt good about myself. I never felt confident about anything. I became angry. Ugly. Bitter. I hated everyone around me and I hated myself” He confided trying to not get too emotional, but he didn’t ever talk about this stuff.

“Mick, I’m so sorry.” His eyes filling with tears.

“After Mandy and I moved in together and away from that house, she started chipping away at the wall I had built up. Then one night I drunkenly confessed to her that I was gay and she just HAD to play dress up. I laughed at her and told her that’s not really how being gay works.” He laughed at the memory and Ian smiled. “Anyway, by the time we were finished, I looked in the mirror and I felt beautiful for the first time in my life, I felt special. I felt...sexy.” He said quietly but with passion. Mickey sat back down on the bed next to Ian and continued. “I mean, I had never in my life thought about wearing a fuckin’ dress or had a want to wear one, but once I did, it was like taking a breathe of fresh air for the first time, but I simultaneously love and hate myself for that. I hate that I enjoy it, but I do, I really fuckin’ do. I just wanna be like everybody else, but I’m not and I’m not really accepting of that yet. Don’t know if I ever will be.” He shrugged sadly. 

Ian once again found himself on his knees for the second time tonight. Kneeling in between mickeys parted legs, hands upon Mickeys fishnet clad thighs. “You are all of those things and more Mickey. You are beautiful, sexy, special, breathtaking, caring, loving, funny, sweet, the list could go on forever! You’re the most gorgeous man I’ve ever met, be it in a dress, in jeans, sweats, boxers and especially in these.” He said raking his fingers down the stockings. “I meant what I said earlier. I love you and I hope one day you can love yourself completely and see you the way I see you.” Ian breathed out, eyes shining with adoration at Mickeys misty blues. 

Mickey leant down to kiss him quickly and sweetly. Sitting back up he sniffed and carefully wiped away moisture from his eyes, hoping his makeup wasn’t too much of a mess. 

“I do have more questions though.” Ian said once their lips parted, feeling more confidence than before. He got back up on the bed. “Do you prefer a different pronoun? Use different names? Can I touch your hair? Would you want to have sex like this or is that not something that you’re into?” Ian blurted out.

“Uh...okay, pronouns...I mean I don’t know. I guess out in public I’d use female pronouns, but I never talk to anyone anyways.” Mickey stood, going for his water bottle. “Mandy calls me Mika, but again I don’t really care around the house. Only in public would I prefer the use of Mika.”

“What about the hair, can I touch it?” Ian asked again, itching to run hands through it. 

“Yeah.” Mickey smiled and chuckled. “Just don’t like, pull on it too hard. It’s all bobby pinned down, but it would still hurt like mother-fucker if you yank it.”

Ian nodded his head and smiled.  
“And the sex part?” He reminded turning a little more serious.

“I’ve never thought there’d be a chance too.” Mickey looked down at his body shyly. 

“Do you want to?” Ian asked sauntering over to the shorter man, caging him in, Ian ran the pads of his fingers down Mickeys arm, setting off a trail of goosebumps. 

“Yes.” Mickey shivered. “I do.” Failing to keep his voice from trembling he asked. “Do you want too?” 

“Very much, yes.” Ians eyes ran down mickeys body.

They both smiled at each other, as if a weight had been lifted off their chests. Mickey closed the tiny distance between them, throwing his arms around Ian’s neck and jumping into him, wrapping his legs around Ian’s solid form. Their kiss was hard and demanding, teeth biting at lips, tongues dueling for dominance. Ian’s hands simultaneously holding and squeezing Mickeys ass that was exposed from his dress bunching up around his hips. He noted that Mickey was wearing silk panties and that the fishnets didn’t cover his ass at all. They were specifically designed to be fucked in. Ian’s dick swelled at the realization.

Ian stumbled over to the queen sized bed and dropped his man roughly onto the mattress. Mickey looked downright scandalous laying on the bed, lipstick slightly smeared, panting, eyes dilated, knees slowly parting in invitation. Not taking his eyes off the sight before him, Ian ripped his shirt off and undid his belt. “I’m gonna wreck that ass.” He promised. Taking off the remaining garments, Ian climbed on the bed, hovering over Mickey. Slowly he bent his head into the crook of his lovers neck, inhaleing the intoxicating scent. His lips attacking and sucking a hickey into the sensitive pale skin. Once satisfied, Ian captured his lips in a long passionate make out session. Hands exploring each other’s bodies. They both found themselves beginning to grind their crotches against each other, lost in the sensual kiss. Ian’s hand pushing up the black dress, fingers finding the corset. He groaned at the pleasurable surprise, then shifted off Mickey slightly. 

“You’re so fucking hot Mick. I wanna be inside you, wanna feel you wrapped around me.”

“Then what the fuck are you waiting for?” Mickey sassed. “Thought you were gonna wreck me or somethin’” Mickey stuck his tongue out the side of his mouth, daring Ian on. 

Mickeys sudden cocky attitude set a fire in Ian’s belly, he flipped him over unceremoniously, grabbing his hips and slamming his panty covered backside into Ian’s rigid cock. Slapping his ass before yanking the panties off to bite the creamy flesh “You look like a little slut like this.” Another smack rang about the room. 

Mickey whimpered, pushing his ass back, wiggling it just barely, silently asking for more.

“You like that, don’t you?” Ian’s hand made contact again. 

“Hmmhm...I’ve been a bad boy.” Mickey said seductivly, looking back to Ian who was kneading his abused cheeks. 

“Damn right you’ve been a bad boy.” Ian said giving Mickey another spanking “Hiding all this from me.” Ian grabbed Mickeys ass cheeks and spread them apart to spit on his hole. “You have no idea what this is doing to me, blowing my fuckin’ mind right now.” His thumb moving the saliva around until he was sliding his fingertip in. Spit wasn’t going to cut it. “Fuck.” He breathed out. 

“Ugh. Ian...” Mickey pleaded at the harsh intrusion. Ian jump off and grabbed the lube from the drawer. He coated his finger and Mickey before going in again, pumping in and out until he took his whole finger easily.  
“You’re so fucking hot baby.” Ian said while adding another finger. Mickey wiggled his hips again, his ass anxious for more.  
“Fucking begging for it, aren’t you?” Ian said scissoring him open. 

“It’s been so fucking long, I need to be filled.” Mickey whined while thrusting back onto Ian’s two fingers. “More...please, Ian, more.”

“Have you been a good for me?” Ian hummed adding a third finger and running his free hand along Mickeys hip and waist. “Or have you opened up this tight little hole for other men?” Ian’s palm delivering another hard slap. Mickey jumped at the contact. 

“I haven’t been with anyone else.” Mickey yelped, breath hitching. “I’ve been good for you.” 

“Fuck baby.” Ians cock ached at Mickeys words. “That’s what I wanna hear.” He confessed. He pushed Mickeys long hair to one side and pulled the smaller mans body up against his own, his arm wrapping around his chest, whispering in his ear hotly. “I’m gonna ram my dick so hard and so far into you’ll feel it for days. Every time you sit, move, breathe you’ll think of my cock filling you up.” He lined the head of his dick up with Mickeys stretched hole and slowly entered. 

Mickeys breathing stalled. He couldn’t see straight or think straight. The only thing that existed was Ians cock making its way into him. Inching farthing in, then backing out over and over again before Ian at last bottomed out. They both groaned at the sensation of being complete.

“Fuck.” Escaped from Mickeys throat. “Move. Fuck me, come on!” 

Ian began slowly pumping in and out of Mickeys plump ass. Holding his back tight against his chest. After keeping slow rythmatic thrusts for long enough, Mickey thrashed his head side to side and groaned. “Fuckin’ harder! Ian, fuck! More.”  
Ian pushed Mickey back on all fours and snapped his hips with increasing force. Again and again and again. Mickey clawed at the bedding trying not to scream out in pleasure at the change of position and pace. His own dick beginning to leak.  
“This ass!” Ian said slapping it again. “This ass is all fuckin’ mine!” His pounding was relentless, his fingers bruising. 

“Yeah. Fuckin’ get it Ian.” Mickey cried out before his face was shoved into the bed by Ian’s commanding hand. “Yes! Right there!” He yelled out against. Ian pistoning in and out, hitting his prostate each time. 

“You want me to cum inside you? Fill you up?” Ian asked as his thrusts turned shorter, more needy.

“Please!” Mickey begged. “Yes, Please.” Wimpering, his climax was building. 

“Ugh!” Ian groaned as he spilled into Mickeys raw ass. Mickey was clenched so tight around him, his eyes began to water he was so blissed out. Ian slowly pulled out his softening dick and Mickey turned over onto his back, his cock still rock hard, yet to cum. 

“Ian.” He pleaded, lustfully gazing into the taller mans eyes. “Touch me.”

“Oh baby.” He said with compassion while getting on the floor and onto his knees, he angled Mickey in front of him, so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. “Want me to suck and swallow?” He asked taking Mickeys dick in hand, eyeing it hungrily. “Or do you want to cum on my face?” He licked a long wet fat strip from base to tip, eliciting a trembling moan from Mikey’s throat. 

“Face.” Mickey decided, edging his groin closer to Ian’s face, and leaning back on his elbows. He could feel Ian’s juices sliding down his thighs. He could have cum when Ian was inside of him but he withheld, wanting to draw this out as long as possible. 

Ian had his fist wrapped around Mickeys neglected cock, squeezing and pulling and twisting. Deepthroating the entire girth several times, swirling his tongue around leaving trails of saliva during his assault. He feels Mickey is about to bust and picks up his pace, jacking him with one hand, while his other fingers their way back into Mickeys dripping hole. Opening his mouth, he sticks out his tongue waiting for the warm cum to coat his face. Mickeys hips buck into Ian’s hands and he grabbed at Ian’s hair in desperation as he shoots his load onto Ian’s eager face. 

“Fuck that’s hot.” Mickey moaned after a moment. He watched closely with hooded eyes as Ian ran his tongue along his lips, tasting the other man and humming in equal pleasure. Mickey then grabbed a towel to clean up the remaining splatters along Ian’s face and then used it on himself.  
They both climbed into each other’s arms on the bed. Mickeys head on Ian’s chest, fingers lightly scratching his chest hair. Ian’s fingers were brushing through Mickeys wig. Both basking in the afterglow. 

Mickey broke the peaceful silence and looked up at Ian. “I love you.” He confessed. “I’m so sorry I broke up with you. I was scared and a coward. I should have trusted you more and I’m sorry. I love you so much.” 

“I love you too, Mick.” Ian leaned in and kissed Mickeys forehead. “And it’s okay, I’m not angry anymore, I get it, I do. I’m just happy we’ve got a second chance.” Ian said snuggling into his boyfriend.

Mickeys heart soared. He couldn’t believe how easy and accepting and into this Ian was. He really got lucky with this man holding him. Never in his life did he think he’d get a chance to be with someone who loved him completely. 

“I need outta this outfit, man.” Mickey said getting up haphazardly. “It’s hot as balls.” 

Ian smiled wide. He finally had his boyfriend back. The south side brash little thug with a sexy and exciting twist. Life couldn’t possibly get any better than this. 

“Help me outta this corset” Mickey said shedding his dress. 

Ian bit his lip, jumping to the task. Okay, maybe life does just keep getting better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this! Much love <3


End file.
